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Single parenthood is a social phenomenon that has
always been in existence and is as old as mankind. Single parent family is a
household in which only one parent lives with a child or children.
Single parenthood can also be viewed as the
taking of family responsibility (which includes caring for children) without
the father’s or mother’s contribution. Recently, the numbers of single parents’
families have increased drastically and it is gaining a global dimension.
This wind of change has also affected the
Nigerian society where the idea of single parenthood seems to be a norm, rather
than an anomaly, and children born to such families are legitimized if there
had ever been a father in the scene or neglected. The percentage of white
women with some level of education who have become mothers without marrying has
more than doubled in the last decade.
Among women with professional or
managerial jobs, it has almost tripled. The suggestion therefore is that, may
be, marriage no longer serves women interest. If women can support themselves,
they do not need to marry.They fell they are secured economically. If single a parent can have sex at will with any
man she fancies, have her own house and gain the respect of friends and
co-worker, she does not see any need to tie herself to the apron –string of any
man in a bondage called marriage.
Despite the prevalence and popularity of
marriage, a significant proportion of adults in Nigerian society are
unmarried. About 88 million American are single. In Nigeria there is dearth of
information on the status of single parenthood. The prevalence of single
parenting is increasing and the pool is a composite of unmarried mothers
(including many teenagers), divorcee and families separated by migrant labour
arrangement. Single parenthood is seen as a deviant form of the normal family.
The family is an institution of principal
importance in socialist society and is a primary target of reforming legislation.
In official statements, it is conventionally referred to as the basic cell of
society and functions as an agent of socialization. It is the main focus of the
day-to-day responsibility for the welfare of children and the elderly.
Therefore, the first approved step to starting a family is marriage, a secular
contract which gives the couple’s signatories equal rights within marriage and
equal rights to divorce and to commonly owned property.
The family is a vital
unit in social organization and social control, and an important institution in
many respects. It has also been described as a vital unit of social
organization and social control.
Type of Single Parenthood
There are different types of single parenthood.
The vast majorities of single parent families are low income families
consisting of a mother and her young children and are characterized by a high
percentage of minority representation and relatively little formal
education. There are three major sub groups of one-parent families. These are
displaced home markers (Divorced), adolescent mothers and single fathers. There
are two main routes of entry into single parenthood. These include relationship
breakdown and birth of a child outside marriage.
Differentiating factors among single parents
One important criterion of differentiation
between a male and female headed house hold is marital status. Class is clearly
another important consideration. A higher socio economic status is likely to
equip women with greater capacity, at least financially, to raise children
alone or live independently.
Also, a higher socio class position may make this
more difficult in social terms. This reason clearly points to why some Nigerian
ladies indulge in single parenthood, especially during Obasanjo’s living
wage era.
The analysis of differences in lone parents on
grounds of race has been subjected to greater investigation especially in
respect to minority groups in advanced economics. This is partly because single
parent may be more common among ethnic minority groups than in the vast
population. For example in United States of America, 56.7% of all black families
with children ware headed by women compared with only 17.8% among white.
Causes of Single Parenthood
Various reasons have been adduced as to why
people get into single parenthood. An early age at first marriage is associated
with a higher probability of divorce and separation. It has also been revealed that
several factors contribute to the growing number of single parents. Among these
is the changing view of single-hood, which is increasingly being viewed as a
legitimate alternative to marriage.
High divorce rate means more singles and
people who have experienced divorce in their families may have more negative
attitude about marriage and more positive attitude about single-hood. The
reasons commonly given by women for leaving her partner usually include:
adultery, cruelty, desertion, addiction to alcohol or drugs and husband
imprisonment and the death of husband.
Problems Associated with Single Parenthood
Several problems have been known to be associated
with Single parenthood. It has been pointed out that in addition to having
fewer financial resources, single parent may be less able to supervise her
adolescent children. There is evidence that an adolescent in a single parent
family is susceptible to delinquent behavior and substance abuse as the
situation in not conducive to successful child rearing. It has been observed
that 55% of children living in female-headed families are poor and are five
times poorer than children in other families.
Unmarried father are also not without problems
and generally receive more condemnation than help. Generally, they have more
healthy economic status than their female counter parts. Single fathers are
often confronted with serious career related problems as they find their sole
children raising role conflicting with work expectation. Stress is inherent in
the situation of the woman trying to bring up her children alone. A husband may
do little, but that little helps, and it is a comfort to have someone with whom
to discuss the problem that may arise concerning the health, school performance
and other matter concerning the offspring.
Insecurity, financial pressure, lack of companion
in the home and the burden of bringing up children alone; all constitute
stressful conditions which take their toll on the health of women who find
themselves in the situation of being single parents. Single-parenthood has to
do with loneliness, hence many single parents find themselves feeling isolated
at one point or another. It was reported that single parents who get pregnant
are not allowed the benefit of maternity leave simply because they are not
married. But the Beijing conference of 1996 has solved this problem.
Single parents commonly experience difficulty
with role identity. Some form of social stigma is still attached to single-parent
states regardless of how it was acquired. Many single parents are confused as
to when a significant other should be introduced to their child/children. While
it is never good to hide a growing relationship from the child, caution should
be taken that the children don’t become emotionally involved with someone her
mother is dating unless the relationship is going to end in marriage.
Implication to Child Raising
Marital separation commonly involves major
emotional distress for child relationship. Single parents try, as they will,
tend to diminish parenting for several years after the break up. Children aged
six to eight (6-8) react with grief, fear and intense longing for
reconciliation. Those aged nine to twelve (9-12 years) tend to be openly angry.
They are inclined to reject a step parent. At both age groups, the children
behaviour at home and school often deteriorates. Bad companies and the
existence of drug, rebelling, idleness, and marginalization are some of the
fears and concerns that distress these mothers on their own.
Social contacts by single parent with members of
the opposite sex may be a catalyst for unacceptable behaviour. The child
perceive the mother’s friend as an interloper who attracts attention seeking
behavior and even to aggressive act directed at the visitor. Twice as many
children from one parent families compare to two parents families drop out of
high school. Very high rates of poverty have also been discovered among single
parent families.
Children who spend part of their childhood in a
step family, either because they were born to an unmarried mother or because
their parents divorces, report significantly lower quality relationships with
their parents as adults and have less frequent contact with them. A child from
a single parent family in some cases became delinquent, failing in school,
developing inappropriate sex role attitudes and behaviours, or exhibiting other
types of pathology.
Teachers commonly describe children from single
parents as more hostile, aggressive, anxious, fearful, hyperactive and
distractible than children from intact families.
It's my hope that this article will discourage as
many as possible from making decisions stated here that can result in single
parenthood.
Adapted from Wilolud Journals
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