Letter to Save Ese Walter and Her Written Response to Critics.

Hi HTPB readers,

Below is an open letter from me to Ese Walter and her response to critics of the article she posted detailing her affair with a Pastor Biodun of COZA. She may be unreachable to us but our words here may just find their way to her. Do send her your sincere encouragement through this medium. She needs the show of love and support to help her through this unstable times( since she has no congregation to clap and shout at nothing said).

Some of us may totally not agree with her methods, also her motives in all of this and her claim of abuse but what I’m certain of is that if all that scandal really happened, then the society at large has a role to play. 

According to her, all that happened spanned over months and it's impossible to express all the details in a few paragraphs. I’m implying there are lots of unexpressed feelings and actions concerning this saga. And right now she may really feel alone, dejected and maybe sad about people's reactions to all of these. Ese is hurt and needs to heal, we might not all be able to help her but I’m certain that her parents, family and close relations can. She needs to talk to them, they need to speak the word of God to her, comfort her and reassure her of God’s unfailing love. This is the time for her parents and family to step in regardless of what they feel, it’s a time to reach out and listen to the unsaid words, and protect her. 

This is what family is all about: unconditional love. It’s usually a relief when people that care are around one in trying times. Imagine the spotlights are on you and yet the world isn’t seeing you just the way you planned to be seen. I really hope Ese was prepared for the heavy criticism she has received. Have a great week all.

Dear Ese,

Going through the article written by you and the series of events and responses that has followed, I am led to believe things have not panned out the way you thought it would.

I am of the opinion that at this point, you may have fallen more into rejection and bitterness not just towards the Pastor (who has refused to give any direct response until he his done consulting and has a "robust" reply) but also towards Nigerians whom you thought would understand. The reason for my opinion is anchored on your decision to delete your social network accounts that you must have used for some years now because of pressures from same people you thought would understand(you are probably planning to go into hibernation).

You may have made some wrong decisions in how you chose to handle the situation but it does not change the fact that the Pastor was wrong if he slept with you. He should have known better. Even if you seduced him, he should have been stronger and corrected you in love.

Wherever you are, please turn to the bible for encouragement. At this point, what you need is God's healing and strength to move on. The Bible makes us understand that God's strength is made perfect in your "weakness". So weakness is not a curse, it is an avenue for God's power to come through in our life.

You will come out of this stronger. You will come out better. Take from the good, drop the bad and move on girl. Do not expect so much from man. do not anchor your happiness on what man does or does not do. As you must have learnt in the last few days, man can be the most unpredictable specie. Even God marvels at us. You come across as a beautiful, intelligent young woman. Love God and Live your dream. 

Yours Sincerely

Olufunke HTPB.

NB: Find Ese's response to her critics below. If you are reading this and you have a word to support Ese, drop it here as we believe it will get to her.

First off, good morning fellow Nigerians, Christians and who ever else is dissing or supporting on this blog. I want to state first and foremost that I never used the term “sexual abuse” in my post. I have never been sexually abused my entire life. However, I have been on about researching abuse generally because I started to realize the reason I had been how I was was because I didn’t have confidence in myself as a human being and I struggled with self esteem for as long as I can remember. Abuse is not only sexual and what I refer to here is not sexual abuse but psychological (mental and emotional), manipulation and control. These are forms of abuse and this is what I was referring to.

When I joined COZA, I didn’t know my left from my right. I was finding my way and naturally I was drawn to the word and the fact that I thought this was the one church that would help me grow. As for my then pastor Biodun, I really did see him as a god. I knew nothing about God for myself and I wasn’t reading the bible. I felt he was the one that would help me understand and grow. At the time, I had been attending church for less than three years. I will not deny the fact that I lived my life as I pleased all the while I was in University and even afterwards but like every human being knows, there comes a time when you decide to get it together.

Secondly, I am not hurting or broken anymore. The times I mentioned those in the blog, I was talking about what was happening to me at the time. By God’s grace I crawled out of the self-destructive hole I had entered. This experience drove me to dig deeper and understand grace for myself. Not only that, it made me understand how wrong it is to fear ‘men of God’ and even treat them as God. And I dare say, if I didn’t have this experience, I wouldn’t understand what it means to have a relationship with God.

I have asked God for forgiveness, I hold no grudge against Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo or anyone displaying ignorance here or elsewhere. I did what I knew to do as it regards meeting church elders. Not just pastor Flo but others and it seemed no one could talk to Pastor Biodun. As for those saying people will loose their faith, I think that would turn out for their good eventually because when you loose your faith because of man,you would then be able to seek God for yourself and find truth. After all, the bible states that He wishes that ALL men come to the knowledge of truth.

Yes we were both guilty,I have not excused myself from the role I played. I was guilty as sin, however, I have come to know better. If you know anything about low self esteem, you would understand why it went on for as long as it did. Looking back, I think I expected him to know better than me but I know better now. That being said, the whole affair ended because I put my foot down. He made all sorts of propositions to me when I returned to Nigeria but I was looking to heal and move forward.

My aim with this my is to show other ladies who suffered same fate at his hands both in Ilorin and Abuja (some of whom have emailed me but are still trapped in guilt and shame to speak up) that there is nothing to be ashamed of. The clout he has over people can cause them to do thoughtless things but in the end, it’s all out there and I am at peace with myself and with God.

For those calling me a liar, please ask Pastors Biodun Fatoyinbo and Flo if I have lied. I rest my case!!!