It is not uncommon to find couples who genuinely love each other getting caught up in a web of deceit and infidelity. As much as we are emotionally tied to our spouses, the truth is that it takes more to stay faithful. Couples make the same mistakes over and over again, then they wonder :How did it all go wrong?
The following are truths which i think couples should take note of and observe to avoid falling into infidelity.
i. Marriage is not the end
Do not think that because you are married, you will not find other men/women attractive. It does not end with marriage, you will still find attractive people all around you. It is all about how you handle it.
ii. Your spouse is your only friend from the opposite sex
For the man, cut the phone calls with other women unless it STRICTLY has to do with business or work and does not go on for long periods, no text messages either. If she is not your wife, she is not your friend. That means you should not discuss private matters with other women. If you want to talk to a woman, talk to your mother or sister.
Keep discussions with other women, straight to the point. This means no flirting AT ALL. You might think it is harmless but the lady might not feel the same way. You are only in charge of your emotions.
The same applies to women, keep a stern voice if you need to. Keep discussions straight to the point and brief.
Like they say, one thing leads to another. You don't want to start that 'one thing'.
iii. Make yourself pretty for your spouse
It seems when couples get married, they stop looking good for themselves. They look good when they go out but within the house, they are a mess....
Imagine a man comes home every day to see his wife looking disheveled. This same man is bombarded by temptations outside the home and he comes home to see his wife looking 'anyhow'. Dress up for your husband, put some cologne on before he comes from work.
And men, take a shower and smell good in the home.... Try to always look the best for your spouse.
iv. Your best friend is not your spouse's friend
Most of the time, Infidelity occurs with people that are close. Your spouse's best friend or Your spouse's brother or sister. Your best friend is not your spouse's friend, keep the required distance. Do not be too cordial with your husband's friend or brother. Do not complain about your husband to his friend or brother. Talk to your father, if you need to talk to a man or talk to a professional.
Keep the barriers up in your relationships with these people. Be cordial but do not break the barriers.
If you were all friends before you got married. The man seizes to be your 'friend' after marriage. Be cordial and friendly but keep limits.
v. Make your relationship beautiful and keep it beautiful
Surprise your spouse from time to time, take vacations and long walks. Do not keep a grudge, resolve all issues before going to bed.
Once an issue is settled, DO NOT BRING IT UP AGAIN..... Start afresh..... Always start afresh after every conflict.
Vi.Segregate parties
If you have a house party, let the females stay together most of the time and the males together. You take care of bringing the food to the males while your wife takes care of the females.
Vi Switch the phones(& all forms of technology) off at night
Many times, actual communication is replaced by gadgets. Switch the phone off at night (Say from 9pm), shut down the laptop and just talk(unless, you are a doctor and could get late calls)
I have heard stories of men spending their nights on youtube when they have a home to run. Communicate as much as possible, your home is your priority
These are just a few things, hopefully someone finds it useful.
Very useful indeed but it takes too. Both parties have to be willing to make things work.
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