Parenting In Nigeria

The article below was written by Tolu Ayorinde.

 

Friends, Let me add the benefit of my time as a student and then resident in the UK - and I live in Lagos now. The first thing that I discovered about UK-born,white, English undergraduates was that all of them did holiday or weekend job to support themselves - including the children of millionaires amongst them. It is the norm over there - regardless how wealthy their parents are. And I soon discovered that virtually all other foreign students did the same - the exception being those of us status-conscious Nigerians.

I also watched Richard Branson (owner of Virgin Airline)speaking on the Biography Channel and, to my amazement, he said that his young children travel in the economy class -even when the parents (he and his wife) are in upper class. Richard Branson is a billionaire in Pound Sterling. A quick survey would show you that only children from Nigeria fly business or upper class to commence their studies in the UK. No other foreign students do this.  

           

There is no aircraft attached to the office of the prime minister in the UK - he travels on BA. And the same goes for the Royals. The Queen does not have an aircraft for her exclusive use. These practices simply become the culture which the next generation carries forward. Have you seen the car that Kate Middleton(the lady soon to marry Prince William) drives? VW Golf or something close to it.  But there's one core difference them and us(generally speaking). They (even the billionaires among them) work for their money,we steal ours!

If we want our children to bring about the desired change we have been praying for on behalf of our dear country, then please, please let's begin now and teach them to work hard so they can stand alone and most importantly be content, and not having to "steal", which seem to be the norm these days. "30 is the new 18", which seem to be the new age for testing out the world in Nigeria now.  That seems to be an unspoken but widely accepted mindset among the last 2 generations of parents in Nigeria. At age 18 years, a typical young adult in the UK leaves the clutches of his/her parents for the University, chances are, that's the last time those parents will ever play "landlord" to their son or daughter except of course the occasional home visits during the academic year.   

Why Sex Should Be After Marriage

1.Sex is a powerful force that can destroy if not used properly. Like atomic power, sex is the most powerful creative force given to man. When atomic power is used correctly it can create boundless energy; when it is used in the wrong way it destroys life. Sex is the same kind of powerful force. Sex is a gift from God to give us the greatest pleasure, to help in creating a deep companionship with one's spouse and for procreation of the next generation. But if you play with this powerful force outside the bounds of marriage, it destroys you and those close to you.


2. intimate activity for young people arrests their psychological, social and academic development. Studies show that when young people engage in premarital sex, their academic performance declines and their social relationships with family and friends deteriorate. This is because adolescents are too immature to deal with the explosive sex drive and it tends to dominate their life.


3. The majority of women cannot enjoy sex outside of the bonds of marriage. The development of a fulfilling sex life needs the security and peace of the marriage bond. Premarital sex usually takes place sneaking around in hidden places dealing with the fear of being caught, the fear of pregnancy and feelings of guilt. All these (worrisome) factors undermine pleasure in premarital sex, most especially for women.

Comedian Bovi's Wife Delivers Baby Girl.

Popular comedian Bovi Ugboma and wife Christabel welcomed a daughter last night September 25th  at 8:47pm. This is the couple's second child.

See another picture of them in an older post after the cut.

Yippee HTPB Readers! We are the Blog of the Week On Connect Nigeria

If there’s anything that a parent is only too aware of, it’s the fact that children grow up quickly. Indeed it appears that one minute you’re changing their diapers and bottle-feeding them, and the next they’re insisting on the key to their room and asking permission to date.

How does one do a good job of raising kids that family and society can be proud of and grateful for? Filling up young minds with positive influence is the solution Helping the Parents proffers.

Helping the Parents is a blog created by Olufunke Alawode, a mother of two energetic and adventurous boys. One of its main goals is “to actively develop ways to enhance academic performance of children, help them discover or develop talents already discovered by parents while grooming them into well cultured, responsible and charming teenagers.”

Staying true to its goals, the blog consistently gathers resources parents and intending parents will benefit from. Highlighting real issues on raising children, building marriages, romance, family and relationships, it features articles written by the blogger herself, and others culled from other publications. Encouraging parents to pay attention to their kids’ after-school activities, the blogger emphasises the need for entertainment beyond TV, which in her opinion is not bad, but when continuously used to teach children violence and insubordination as seen on many cartoon channels, becomes a weapon of decay.

Pictures of Hollywood Superstars as Children.

Here are pictures of some Superstar actors when they were kids. We have  Tom Cruise, Harrison Ford, Jennifer Lopez, Brad Pitt,Leonardo Dicaprio, Rihanna and John Travolta.

Next to their pictures as children is what they look like presently.  This is how far they have come with hard work and persistence.

What comes to your mind when you look at your child or the child next door? I am certain a lot of people never thought the kids below will become the successful adults they have become.

Treat that child well today. Give them love, education and support their talents. I hope to do a Nigerian version of same before today is done. Have a nice day readers.

Brad Pitt

Harrison Ford

Jennifer Lopez

Young Man Dies A Month After Saving Neighbour's Toddler From Burning House.

Can anyone remember the story of the young man who braved a raging fire to save a 17month old baby? The Hero died due to the degree of burns sustained.

Although, he has answered the divine call, but the life and times of Michael Anthony, aged 27, who paid the supreme prize, by delving into a burning house to save a toddler trapped in the burning house shall linger long and remain a reference point for many.


Angel Michael as he was fondly called at the Benue State University Teaching Hospital ( BSUTH) and its vicinity, where he spent weeks on admission for severe burns before his eventual death, went through the pains to save the life of the child of a neighbor.

My Daughters Destroyed My Marriage To Their Father With Lies.

This is a letter from an elderly parent seeking advise to a dilemma she has found herself. Please comment to advise her.

Dear Readers,

 

Please, help me solve this problem that has torn apart and is threatening my happiness, my daughters and probably the future generations yet unborn.

I married my husband just like every other young woman and we both looked forward to a blissfull future with our children. Contrary to the belief of some people that I would have problems bearing children, through God’s mercy, my three children came few years into our union.

A lot of people believed we would have to wait on the Lord for the blessing of the fruit of the womb as that was the tradition in my husband’s family, but God singled us out and we had our children without any hitch.

With these, our joy was complete and we never envisaged that these children would be a source of discord in our family now.

I am a trained nurse with a B.Sc in Nursing from Glasgow, Scotland and my husband is also a trained professional engineer. We both had good jobs until my husband lost his job and getting another good well paid job became difficult. We both decided that I should travel out of the country to practise and when I am stabilised, he would join me with the children.

As luck would have it, I secured a good job and no sooner had I got to England that my husband secured one too. We had it all, which was what we thought. I would have returned immediately, but since my being over there made it convenient for my family to visit on holidays and my children were not too young, I stayed on my job and sincerely my husband did a good job taking care of the children.

The summer my first daughter turned 18, it was my turn to visit home. When I arrived, I noticed a tensed atmosphere between my daughters and their father. I forgot to mention the fact that I am blessed with three children, two girls and a boy, the boy is the last.

FATHER AND FRIEND RAPE 6 YEARS OLD DAUGHTER FOR SEVEN YEARS.

This blog was created for every parent and intending parent which hopefully covers almost everybody. Now this is a question for all HTPB readers; What would make a "parent" have carnal knowledge of their daughter or son? This is a 'matter' i have not been able to comprehend. The story below was reported by PM News and it left me speechless. A father! A mother! What would make you do such to your own child. What madness or possession would make a 'parent' have sex with their 6 year old child? How can we protect other children from animals like this man's friend who also slept with the poor child. There are others like the two lunatics walking around seeking children to devour. While i am still pondering at it, continue reading the wickedness of man to child below. It is simply an abuse of the stewardship ordained by God. This man can be anything else but he is definitely not a father.

A 13-year old girl has narrated how her biological father, Stephen Chimaraobi,  and his friend, Paul Oha, raped her for seven years in their Ojodu home in Lagos State, southwest Nigeria. Following her revelation, the police at Grammar School Division, Ojodu, arrested her father and his friend. Chimaraobi from Delta State has remained single after his wife left him, while Oha from Mbaise in Imo State, is married and has two kids.

The victim revealed that her 42-year old father and his friend started defiling her when she was six years old and continued till she became 13 without each of them knowing until she reported the matter to the police. She said she did not know the damage they were doing to her  until now that she became an emotional wreck.

Picture Showing Inspector General Of Police Kissing New Wife

Inspector General of Police Mohammed Abubakar married Zarah Bunu in a 3-day wedding carnival that started last week Thursday and ended on Saturday.

He is pictured here kissing Zarah after tying the knot in Abuja. Is she going through her phone while being kissed? Lol

See picture after cut....

Parents Going to Jail If Their Kids Are Not In School

Governor of the western Nigerian state of Ekiti,  Kayode Fayemi, has threatened to jail parents who refuse to send their children or wards to school from primary to junior secondary levels.


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Gov. Kayode Fayemi issued the threat at Emure-Ekiti in Emure Local Government Area, at the commencement of the “Registration of Pupils” into Kindergarten and Primary One class’’ for 2013/2014 academic session.

Never Bend The Rules With Your Child's Seat Belt

A new survey finds that as many as one out of five parents believe it's OK to drive with their children unbuckled if it's a short trip, despite the emphasis placed on child passenger safety.  The survey by the child advocacy group Safe Kids Worldwide and General Motors Foundation finds that more than one-fifth of parents – 21% -- think it's acceptable to drive with their child unrestrained if they are not driving far.

In reality, more than 60% of crashes involving children occur within 10 minutes of home, according to The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia's Center for Injury Research and Prevention. "Historically, we've encountered that attitude before with adults (and seat belts)," says Julie Kleinert, a child safety specialist at General Motors. "People think that if they're not going very far, they don't need to wear their seat belt. I think we need to get the message out to people that they're at risk whether going a short distance or a long distance."

John Legend Marries Swimsuit Model Chrissy Teigen.

Hate to break it to you, girls -- and guys. John Legend tied the knot to his model girlfriend. In Italy. Legend, 34, married Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, Chrissy Teigen, on Saturday in Lake Como.

The lovebirds' wedding comes as no surprise. Teigen keeps an online blog, where she posts recipes and tidbits about her life with the famed crooner.Last September, she posted that it was their sixth anniversary.

"He still amazes me, loves me, frustrates me as much as he did years ago," she posted.

It has been a busy few weeks for the acclaimed singer.He released his latest album, "Love in the Future," two weeks ago.

Men and Toilet Etiquette

Picture this: He is about to erupt like a volcano. He’s been running around all day and he’s not yet had a chance to empty his swollen bladder. He finally makes it to the toilet and just barely manages to undo his jeans zip whilst stomping his feet like he’s been treading barefoot on hot coal. At this point his eyes are already firmly rolled to the back of his head as he positions himself to take aim into the toilet bowl below. He has already made up his mind to take a stand because in HIS mind he’s a sharp shooter. So he brandishes his ‘piss tool’, he aims, he shoots and to his surprise he misses… but the toilet seat gets it. This is a common phenomenon that has baffled women for centuries; not the fact that men miss but that they choose not to lift the toilet seat up. Now, I’m going to attempt approaching this sensitive topic as objectively as possible. There are 4 types of men that use the toilet:

a) The Lazy man:


This breed of man makes up close to 80 percent of the world’s population. They consist of those who are ready to take a piss just about anywhere in public. They urinate directly on the DO NOT URINATE HERE signs, at least in Nigeria. The toilet seat, in their eyes, is a 50 pound weight that requires brute strength in lifting. These amateur artists will turn any white canvas into a bed of yellow poker dots. And if you expect them to clean up after themselves then please revert to the type of man (in bold) being analyzed in point ‘a’.

b) The Proud man:

Woman Delivers baby On Board Arik Flight To London

An Arik Air flight with over 100 passengers en route to London Sunday was forced to make an emergency landing in Palmas, Spain, as a woman went into labour and gave birth while the aircraft was airborne.

The pilot was said to have requested the emergency landing on the advice of two doctors who were on board the aircraft and had helped the mother deliver the baby.

When the passenger went into labour, the cabin crew asked that doctors on board the flight to identify themselves. Following the announcement, two of the passengers came forward, saying they were doctors and assisted in the delivery of the baby.

Saka kisses wife in public as she talks about him

Olaide Oyetoro is the wife of popular actor, lecturer and MTN ambassador, Hafiz Oyetoro, aka Saka. They have been married for 10 years and have three children together. They met while Hafiz was a lecturer at the Adeniran Ogunsanya College of Education while Laide was a student at the college.

Olaide recently opened up about life as Saka's wife. She said:

"I am so happy and lucky to have married a comedian. We didn't really date for a long time, he proposed to me the second time we met. He's a very lovely man, honestly he's incomparable. He truly loves me and I love him. Life with him is peaceful and I thank God"

Thandie Newton is pregnant

As she walked the red carpet with her husband Ol Parker at her side, it was clear Thandie Newton was excited.
And with little wonder – the actress, 40, is pregnant with her third child.

A spokeswoman for Thandie revealed the news as she appeared at the Toronto Film Festival premiere of her new movie Half Of A Yellow Sun.

‘She couldn’t be more happy,’. ’You can barely tell she has a bump and she’s been dressing different because of it.’

But the actress isn’t showing just yet.
On Sunday, she wore a black and white dress which showed just the slightest bump at her waistline. Congrats to the pair!

Behold the Wives of A List Comedians.

AY and Mabel

Basketmouth and Elsie

View more pictures after the cut...

Yemi Sax' wife Delivers Cute Baby Boy.

Saxophonist YemiSax and his wife Sholatayo Adeosun welcomed a son in the early hours of today Sunday September 8th. Sholatayo put to bed at around 12:50 am early this morning at ST Georges Hospital situated off Admiralty way in Lekki Lagos. Big congrats to them. More pics after the cut.

Bishop David Oyedepo and Family

The Oyedepos look dashing and happy in blue. We wish them all long life and continuous prosperity considering that they are from the blood line of a man who has mastered and taught millions the application of faith towards all things including prosperity.

Actor Desmond Elliot's plan to have Seven Children

                                  

Nigerian actor Desmond Elliot who claims he is very much in love with children plans to raise a family of 7 kids.

The actors said he plans to add 3 more kids when he has money. Hear Desmond Elliot in his own words below; “I want to have a big family like 7. But not now, when my wife is more rested and the kids are grown more and also when I have more money just so I can give them all the best. I love kids so yes, definitely we’ll have more.”

Desmond Elliot and his wife Victoria got married few years back. The marriage is already blessed with 4 wonderful kids.

Father of Nigerian Boy Who Flew to Lagos in a Plane's Wheel Compartment Denies Abandoning Him.

Two weeks after his son flew from Benin City to Lagos in the wheel compartment of an aircraft belonging to Arik Air, Daniel Ohikhena’s father denies claims that he abandoned his family.

Little is known about Daniel Ohikhena, the 13-year-old stowaway who flew from Benin City to Lagos in the wheel compartment of a plane belonging to Arik Air, by his schoolmates at Ogbe Junior Secondary School in the Edo State capital.

 

Shortly before his celebrated escapade, Daniel’s mother, Mrs. Evelyn Ohikhena, had withdrawn him from a private secondary school for want of money to pay his tuition fees. She had enrolled him in OJSS, which was about 500 metres from her residence.

 

Investigation by our correspondent shows that the teenager had spent only a term in his new school before embarking on the dangerous adventure. A source said, on condition of anonymity, that Daniel joined the school, popularly known as ‘Ezoti Junior’ just before the end of the third term.

A Day in the Life of a Stay-at-Home Dad

He’s a part-time writer and blogger, and a full-time stay-at-home dad for his 18-month-old daughter. Read about a typical day in the life of this SAHD.

6 am

My alarm goes off—quietly. Akiko gets up at seven no matter what, like she's punching a clock, so I need to get up early to do things I otherwise don’t have time for: writing, running, submitting poems, or whatever freelance work I have. Today I’m writing, so I open up my computer.

7 am

Aki begins rustling and making her crib squeak. My wife Karen gets up, and I stop working to make coffee and help with breakfast. Aki gets out all the Tupperware out from the one cabinet we've more or less yielded to her, and spreads it around.

9 am

Karen leaves for work. I put Aki's shoes on and we head to the playground at a nearby park. It's unseasonably cool and overcast, so when we get there the playground is empty except for a little boy, V, and his mother, near the swings. I put Aki down and say, "Look who's here! Go say hi!" but she wanders instead to the slide. Another person arrives who I haven't met before. He appears to be an older father, or perhaps a grandfather, with a baby in a bassinet stroller. It's nice to see another guy here, but he keeps to himself, and leaves before I can say hello. V's mom walks over to tell me to keep an eye out if he comes back. 

Few ways to Show Love to your Husband

Nothing is as good as a Happy home,but there are few things that can help us build our homes to be best among all homes. Ladies Let's put these tips into practice,and trust me,our homes will be one everyone will like to have.

(1) Discover his favorite pet name and call him by that most times

(2) Allow him exercise his authority as the head of the family

(3) Do not challenge him when he is hurt.

(4) Be silent when he is angry. You can go back to him in his sober moment with apology and explain why you behave that way that annoyed him.

(5) Be quick to say "I am sorry dear". Whenever you offend him insist on his forgiveness, appreciate and kiss him when he does.

Child aged FIVE is the world's youngest pilot.

A five-year-old boy has become the world's youngest ever pilot.

He Yide, nicknamed Duoduo, from China made a 35-minute flight across the Beijing Wildlife Park.

An instructor sat behind him, but the tot managed to fly the plane without any assistance.

He piloted the Bee 3, which weighs just 100kg.

Duoduo's father He Liesheng, who is a manager at a private textile company in Nanjing, paid 30,000 yuan (£3,153) for private flying lessons. Using China's social microblogging site Weibo, he has been uploading his son's gruelling training schedule. Training in flights, sports and maths, Duoduo got up around 4:30am and arrived at the airport at 5am every day.

Rape Cases on The Rise in India.

NEW DELHI (AP) — A series of recent high-profile gang rape cases in India has ignited a debate: Are such crimes on the rise, or is it simply that more attention is being paid to a problem long hidden within families and villages? The answer, experts say, is both.

Modernization is fueling a crisis of sexual assault in India, with increasingly independent women now working in factories and offices and stepping beyond the subservient roles to which they had traditionally been relegated. They are also more likely than their mothers and grandmothers were to report rapes, and more likely to encounter male strangers in public.

"We never used to see so many cases of gang rape, and so many involving groups of young, unemployed men," said Supreme Court lawyer Kirti Singh, who specializes in women's issues.

While there are no reliable statistics on gang rapes, experts say the trend, along with the growing sense of insecurity it has brought for women, led to recent outbursts of public anger over the long-ignored epidemic of violence against women.

Friends of Late Nike Ewar Ogungbe Writes A Sad Letter About Her in-Laws

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE OGUNGBE FAMILY OF AGO –IWOYE, OGUN STATE

It’s no news to every born Nigeria; home & abroad the standard processes involved in a marriage. Where there are cultural standards, there are also religious standards. In most parts of the world, either culturally or by virtue of religion when a woman marries a man she automatically adopts her husband’s family name. In exceptional cases, the couple may decide otherwise.

The Ogungbe family, without doubt are Yorubas and they have proclaimed long enough to be Christians. Unfortunately, the recent events following their actions and contributions to Adenike Ogungbe’s death has proven this bunch otherwise.

In the course of our investigation, some people actually questioned and wondered if Adenike ordinarily moved in with Abidemi without formal/religious ceremony. Adenike got married to Abidemi legally and traditionally. Some of us were there to grace the occasion. Adenike was a legal, faithful, dedicated and committed wife to the Ogungbe family. In Yoruba culture, during the traditional wedding ceremony, the bride is made to sit on the laps of her newly acquired parents. This is only to confer their acceptance of the child as their own and welcome her into the family. Unfortunately, the Ogungbe family failed Adenike in this regard.

She was denied of adequate medical needs by being taken to a quack doctor in an occultic hospital in Sagamu, Ogun State. 

From their Lips.

 

Okay. So here i was watching MTN project fame with my family; Joseph Benjamin was like: "thank you for that wonderful performance David and...(forgets name of female singer)". My son gladly helps him out by shouting, "GOLIATH".

Preventing Infidelity In Your Marriage.

It is not uncommon to find couples who genuinely love each other getting caught up in a web of deceit and infidelity. As much as we are emotionally tied to our spouses, the truth is that it takes more to stay faithful. Couples make the same mistakes over and over again, then they wonder :How did it all go wrong?

The following are truths which i think couples should take note of and observe to avoid falling into infidelity.

i. Marriage is not the end

Do not think that because you are married, you will not find other men/women attractive. It does not end with marriage, you will still find attractive people all around you. It is all about how you handle it.


ii. Your spouse is your only friend from the opposite sex

For the man, cut the phone calls with other women unless it STRICTLY has to do with business or work and does not go on for long periods, no text messages either. If she is not your wife, she is not your friend. That means you should not discuss private matters with other women. If you want to talk to a woman, talk to your mother or sister.

Keep discussions with other women, straight to the point. This means no flirting AT ALL. You might think it is harmless but the lady might not feel the same way. You are only in charge of your emotions.

The same applies to women, keep a stern voice if you need to. Keep discussions straight to the point and brief.

Like they say, one thing leads to another. You don't want to start that 'one thing'.

Alert! Sex Predators on the Loose.

The family is the smallest unit in the society but has the biggest impact in the way morality of the society should be. So many stories now abound of child molestation and abuse, molestation and adultery. As parents, fathers and mothers especially, the followings are the critical factors every responsible parents must do to ensure positive and happy family:


•Warn your daughter never to sit on anyone’s laps no matter the relationship even uncles.
 

•Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn, u might need to patiently ask a lot of questions.
 

•Never allow any adult refer to your new born as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’
 

•If u don’t teach your children about sex, the society will teach them the wrong values & most likely in very hard ways.